Running is a road to self-awareness and reliance … you can push yourself to extremes and learn the harsh reality of your physical and mental limitations or coast quietly down a solitary path watching the earth spin beneath your feet. But when you are through, exhilarated and exhausted, at least for a moment everything seems right with the world…

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Shoot the Moon...

Sickness. I can't seem to shake it. Mono has ruined me. I've spent the entire weekend in my bed, which is not what I had planned for my last spring jam as an undergrad. But we can't control these things, in fact, in life, there isn't much we can control. You can plan for things all you want, but sometimes things just have a way of popping up in a time and place you least expect them.

So my sickness has put me behind in my studying for finals, and has caused me to once again be unable to work out. I can't focus on anything. I feel like tidal waves keep crashing in on me. I feel like I'm finally starting to figure out a small portion of my life, and then some small wave comes crashing in as hard as a typhoon, and washes away the small glint of knowledge I think I've procured. 

So I don't want to spend another blog post just ranting. This post has a point, a small one, but a point no the less. I went to get out my Yogi Sleepy Time Tea (lets face it, i can't afford to lose more sleep,) and a really great thing happened. The tea bag always has a quote on it. And this one had to do with running. Well not really running, but in a way it had to deal with running. 

The quote stated "You can run after satisfaction, but satisfaction must come from within."  I can chase my expectations all I want, but those unexpected things are going to happen. Sickness gets in the way, money gets lost in the shuffle, I might get injured along the way, but satisfaction will be found if I search within myself. I can't find it from anyone else. No person, and certainly no tangible item will leave me satisfied.

Now, one more quick thing I need to get out before I finish this blog post. I should mention that not all of these "tidal waves" are bad. I've had a lot of really great unexpected things happen to me as well.   The best of them was falling in love. I don't think anyone my age goes into a relationship with the intention of falling in love. I found it where I least expected it. And even though it has made the last year of my life a living hell, I'm grateful I found it at all. How's that for ending optimistically? 

No comments:

Post a Comment