Running is a road to self-awareness and reliance … you can push yourself to extremes and learn the harsh reality of your physical and mental limitations or coast quietly down a solitary path watching the earth spin beneath your feet. But when you are through, exhilarated and exhausted, at least for a moment everything seems right with the world…

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Oh, admiration in falling asleep

I cannot wait for this semester to be done with. Seriously my energy level are lower than ever and the effort I'm putting in to my classes is also at an all time low. Ever since last Thursday my stomach feels like it's on a roller coaster. I didn't sleep more than 30 minutes on Sunday night and have been paying the price for it all week.

As you know this weekend was Easter, and my first time being home since Christmas. It was also my first time being in Marshfield and being 21. I spent the entire weekend either drunk or hungover. What a horrible place. Worst of all they had no ginger-ale to mix with my whiskey! Here is a picture of me and my brothers sharing our first drink together with all of us being legal.

Anyway while I was home I also got my first haircut since Christmas, and it was bad. I'm not sure what happened. My mom always cuts my hair (and has always does a wonderful job), but for some reason it ended up looking like a 3 year old had cut a huge chunk out while I was asleep. I guess these things just happen to everyone at some point.

I came home on Sunday and went for a short run, then proceeded to make myself a much needed bloody mary and veggie burger. Thanks for the grill out pink taco ladies :) I then showered and tried to think of a way to fix my hair. I ended up cutting it. and badly. So the next morning I skipped class to go get it fixed. The lady was super nice about it and vowed to keep as much length as possible.

Everyone kept telling me it was just hair and it would grow back, but no one understands. My hair was the longest it has ever been. And it took me 2 years to get it to that length (hardly below my shoulders.) So a bad haircut for me isn't something I have to deal with for a few months, it's something I have to deal for at least a year. Anyway this is what I ended up with.

I don't mind it too much, but I'm not a fan. The worst part is that only about 50% of it fits in a pony tail. I went to the gym on Tuesday and it seriously drove me nuts. The only benefit is that the more I sweat the better it stays up, so this encourages me to work out harder. Guess it's just time to invest in some new barrettes.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I Love Old Songs and What They Know


I'm able to run again! At least without being in complete plain. Unfortunately it snowed today. Sunday I wanted to run but was very nervous so I just went for a walk around the neighborhood and took some pictures.I particularly wanted a picture of our new house. I will be living 3 amazing girls, and I'm super excited. Although I love living with my brother and Adam, it's time for a new experience. I hate drama, and therefore have very few girl friends (one of my guy friends says I only invite him to sausage fests) , but I think I picked a great group to live with. Here is a picture of the wonderful house!

Monday I was able to run, yes for real run, about a mile and half. I took short walking breaks whenever I felt the least bit of pain in my ankle. It hurt a bit on tuesday, but today I went to the gym and did 4 miles on the elliptical and jogged a mile on the treadmill (god I hate treadmills.)

In other news, I found a summer job! I will be working for a family who has adopted several children with various disabilities. I met the kids and instantly fell in love. They are a high energy group so I'll have to keep on top of my sleeping and energy levels. I will be working with 1-3 children at a time, doing fun summer activities at the beach, and park, and transporting them to their summer day camps and other activities. The parents suggested that perhaps I work on academic skills with a few of the children as well. I can't wait! I'll be starting there in mid-June, and until then I will be working part time at the library. I'm glad things are starting to work out in my advantage. Now if only all my final projects would do themselves and I didn't have to study for finals....

Saturday, April 16, 2011

My Final Project

So I'm in this really stupid freshman level class this year. It's called "creating identity through art and performance." And it is just like it sounds. We act, look at art, write about art, and make art. Our final project is a self portrait. We did one at the beginning of the year, this one was very open ended. You could do just about anything you wanted. I drew a mirror with a little girl peering into it. reflected in the mirror were all the things I thought I wanted out of life, a girl dressed in a white dress, a house wife, a happy family, a cross, and a teacher. I then drew a path away from the little girl. On this path I put pictures of all the things that had changed; me with my girlfriends, my rebellious side (tattoo, nose piercing)me with my current family, me at concerts (new religion), and most importantly a picture of me teaching. I wanted to show that since coming to college almost everything in my life has changed.

When we got our assignment for the next final project I did a lot of reflecting. Instantly my mind went to what I want my new tattoo to be.  "Perfectly Imperfect" inscribed down my side. The only real requirement of this project was that we use two artistic mediums. For example I could write a song and take a picture, or paint and act. I decided immediately to write and do a Photo-montage.

As I continued to think more and more I thought about, instead, doing it on running. It has seriously been a huge part of my life this semester. It's gotten me through a lot this last year. I ended up writing a small portion of the perfectly imperfect poem and then knew I just couldn't do it.

Then I decided to do a runner outlined in black as the centerpiece to my artwork. So I cut her out, and then i wrote a poem. I had no idea what my background would look like, or where the poem would take me. When I finished writing the poem I highlighted words that stood out to me, and what was most important. I came up with the title "Bitter Rush" for the piece as a whole. I was going to just do a green or yellow background to represent Bitterness, but it seemed important to get rush in there somehow. Water came to mind right away so I looked up pictures of it, and before I bore you anymore with explanations here it is. I'm very happy with how it turned out :)

Monday, April 11, 2011

My Top 10 Reasons for Running

Not being able to run much the last few weeks has really got me thinking about why I love it so much. So I made a top ten list.

Number 10- It’s easy. I know it may seem like running is a hard sport, and in some ways it is. But as one very uncoordinated person I can tell you it’s the easiest one for me. Anyone can do it, if you set your mind to it.

Number 9- It burns calories, thus allowing me to not feel so bad about eating a lot of them (mostly healthy.)

Number 8- My future health. There are a lot of benefits for my future. Especially for my heart, and since I’m inheriting heart issues from both of my grandpas its important for me to think about this.

Number 7- Better Skin- seriously. Fewer pimples. All that sweat really helps release toxins from your skin. Currently (after 2-3weeks of not running) I have several pimples on my face and my chest. Yuck!

Number 6- Easier Periods. I know this doesn’t apply to you boys, but a replacement reason for you could be that it improves sex skills. ;) In high school my periods lasted 9 days long, I had horrible cramps, bad migraines, and became nauseous often. One of my teachers even commented to my mother that I always did terrible on my quiz the 3rd week of the month. He didn’t get it. Freshman year I went on birth control because I knew I couldn’t afford to do bad on any quiz. My periods got a bit easier, lasted less times, had fewer cramps, migraines, and nausea Recently I decided to go off birth control (for personal reasons) and figured my periods would get worse. But, I skipped a month, and the month after that was a breeze. I hope this pattern continues :)

Number 5- My sleep schedule. Since I moved into this house, for whatever reason I’ve had problems sleeping. Several times my mother has suggested doing a sleep study, and I have refused. Since I started running I rarely have issues with sleep.

Number 4- Energy Levels. These last two weeks (not running due to injury) I have been so lazy it is unbelievable. Running seriously boosts my energy levels, and keeps me going.

Number 3- It’s a stress reducer. No lies. I’m way less stressed when I’m able to run.

Number 2- It’s me time. I can leave the entire world behind. I get lonely a lot, but a lot of the time I wish everyone around me would just leave me alone. Running is my time to be by myself, with my music, contemplating what I want and who I want to be.

Number 1- It increases my self confidence. Since I started running I know my body doesn’t look any different. I still have my little baby bump (I like to joke that I look 3 months preggers, and really I do sometimes shop in the maternity sections of stores) and I still have stretch marks on my quads, and I still have what I refer to as a part double chin. I never used to have low self-esteem. In high school I had a flat belly, nice legs, and a generally perfect body. Best of all I could eat whatever I wanted. When I came to college I started eating dorm food, and started snacking all the time. I gained 10 pounds freshman year. Since I started running I have gained an additional 7. If you had told me 4 years ago that I would be a self-conscious freak I would not have believed you, but I am. Somehow though, even though I still see all these “terrible” features of myself I feel better about who I am. And I'm not just more confident about my looks, I'm also more confident about my choices.

That's it. There are a lot more benefits of running. I suggest if you are runner you make your own list. it's very encouraging.

Friday, April 8, 2011

The Tables Turn!

Things are starting to look up. My ankle is still very swollen. I went for one short 1 mile run on Wednesday, but I stopped as soon as it started to hurt. I've mostly just been walking home from class everyday.Not getting exercise has been killing me. For example last night I slept 11 hours and I'm still exhausted!

As far as the accident goes it was way more than I expected, but since I didn't get ticketed for being at fault my insurance is going to cover the accident and my rates will not be going up :) (as long as I'm not at fault for another major accident in the next few years.)

Also! we got a house! A really awesome one too. When we went to look at houses a few weeks ago we met this random couple out walking their dog and they informed us they were looking for someone to lease to this year. After looking at the house we fell in love, but knew we couldn't afford the 2200 they were asking per month for it. One of my roommates is currently studying abroad in France, so her mom was with us. She contacted the lady and said that while we loved the house we simple couldn't afford to pay more that 1800 a month. But our nice future landlord said she  loved us so much she would love to have us live there and would offer the house to us at 1800 a month! We are getting a super nice place, with tons of space, and super nice landlords! I can't wait to move in.

We had our first grill-out thursday night and I had my first battle with vegitarianism. I almost gave in and had a brat, but I'm remaining strong.

Monday, April 4, 2011

A Box of Rain...

Sometimes it seems life just won't cut you a break. My ankle is still killing me, but I had to go for a run on Friday. I was so mad! I missed my interview because the address they gave me directed me to an empty building. apparently I was in the right place, but somehow must have missed the guy waiting to greet me. So after driving around looking for the place for about 30 minutes I went home and put on my running shoes. I ran about a mile and then walked the mile home. Saturday was so beautiful that I went for a run, but ended up walking most of it. I still have no idea what I did to my poor ankle :( I think I'm going to try to stay off of it this week. Maybe cross train a few days. My mom says if it doesn't start feeling better soon I should get it checked out.

I then headed to a campfire/grill-out with Daryn and Adam, and afterward went to a Pert Near Sandstone concert to celebrate Daryn's birthday. Sunday morning I woke up and took Daryn to pick up his car at John and Eileens. and of course I got in my very first car accident. :( This lady decided to drive in the middle of the street instead of on the appropriate side. I took a left turn and waited because I could see clearly I wasn't going to be able to go in between the car parked on one side and this lady waiting at a stop sign in the middle of the street. After a while she moved over a bit and I thought I could fit through. Wrong! I scraped the park car on the side. And so my impatience will now be costing me a few hundred bucks. grrrr....

I still had to come to work, but luckily got to listen to some music right away. Of course "Gravity Rides Everything" by Modest Mouse came on right away and made me feel so much better. "It all will fall, fall right into place." And then Grateful Dead's "Box of Rain" came on. My iPod always does such a great job of making me feel better. 

I was super nervous about calling my parents but they are so supportive. I'm so grateful for them. Then entire time my mom just kept saying to me "Tiara, no one go hurt and that's what is important. Cars are replaceable people are not, and money is just money. It comes and it goes." And she's right. They guy I hit has also been super nice about everything.